Dialogue vs. Diatribe: On Listening and Hearing
Rosh Hashanah Morning 5769
Rabbi Joseph R. Black
Congregation Albert - Albuquerque, NM
Dear Friends,
L'Shanah Tovah!
A story: Two men were sitting next to each other in a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and said "You're Jewish, aren't you?"
The other responded proudly, "I am!"
The first Jew said, "So am I! Where are you from?"
"I'm from Chicago."
"So am I!" said the first. What part of Chicago?"
The second said, "West Rogers Park."
"Unbelievable! Me too! What school did you attend?"
The second answered, "I attended Mather High School."
The first man got really excited, and said, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"
"1977."
"You're kidding me, right? This is Amazing! I can't believe it! God must have wanted us to meet! I ALSO graduated from Mather in 1977!"
About this time, another person entered the bar, sat down, ordered a beer and asked the bartender how things were going. The bartender walked over, handed him his drink & muttered, "It's going to be a long night tonight: the Silverstein twins are drunk again."
Do me a favor: Raise your hand if you've ever been in a conversation where both people are talking - but no one is really listening to each other.
I think we all have.
This morning I want to talk about how we listen to one another. I want to begin, as I always do on Rosh Hashanah morning, by exploring the powerful words of Torah that were chanted so beautifully by Verrity Gershin and Linda Sandstrom.
Each year on Rosh Hashanah, when we read the story of the Akedah - the binding of Isaac, I try to find a new approach towards understanding this incredibly complicated, difficult narrative. The theological and emotional complexity of this story is unmatched in the entire Torah. I struggle with the concept of how God could be so cruel as to test Abraham by commanding him to sacrifice his son, Isaac. I find it inconceivable that the same Abraham, who argued vociferously with God to try to stop the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, is silent when God tells him to kill his son. What kind of a test is this? What does it teach us about Abraham? What does it teach us about God?
There is a fascinating midrash about the nature of the test given to Abraham. In Genesis Chapter 22 verse 2, we read about the binding of Isaac, which we normally translate as:
And (God) said, Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah; and offer him up there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell you.
The words, V'ha-ah-ley-hu Sham can be translated in two different ways. The first, and most common translation is: "...offer him up there..." But they can also be translated as: "bring him up there."
The meaning of the text can change drastically - depending on where you place the punctuation and how you hear the words - how you listen to the text.
The midrash then takes these two words and changes their relationship with the rest of the text. In this context, our narrative reads:
"Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah; and bring him up there. (Period)"
Then, according to the midrash, the text continues with:
"...and while you're up there, sacrifice a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell you."
The midrash then creates a conversation between Abraham and God - after Abraham has tied Isaac to the Altar and is about to kill him.
God says: "Abraham! What are you doing?"
Abraham replies: "I'm doing what you told me to do! I'm sacrificing my son."
God says: "What? I didn't tell you to sacrifice him, just to `bring him up.' Abraham, You weren't listening to me! Now that you've brought him up, bring him down!(1)"
Maybe Abraham misunderstood. Maybe Abraham wasn't listening to God. Maybe he failed the test.
Think about the ramifications of this Midrash. Abraham failed because he didn't listen. If the angel hadn't intervened at the very last minute, it would have been tragic.
Listening makes all the difference doesn't it?
In case you hadn't noticed, this is an election year..... Over the course of the past several months and continuing through the next 5 weeks we have been and will continue to be bombarded with messages. From political ads, to slogans, to sound bites; from bumper stickers and yard signs to position papers and websites; from you-tube videos and chain-e-mails to mass-marketing materials that clutter our mailboxes - there is no way to avoid the crush of information that is sent to us from and about the political campaigns.
Last Friday night, we had the first presidential debate. By all accounts it was one of the most highly watched political events in television history. After the debate, the "spinning" began as each side championed their candidate's stance, his strength of character and his absolute command of the facts and figures that supported his specific claims. Neither candidate would back down in the face of their opponent's attacks. Each was portrayed as being the most "presidential" - the strongest - the most decisive. In other words - it was a typical campaign event.
I have a confession to make: I have this fantasy that once - just once - during the course of a presidential debate, one of the candidates will turn to the other and say: "You know, that was a really good point - I never thought of that. You've convinced me - I'm going to change my mind - thank you for clarifying this issue in my head."
Can you imagine what would happen if someone said that during a debate? The opposing campaign would have a field day with it!
Of course, that could never happen - could it? If a candidate's position on an issue shifts, evolves or changes - they are perceived as weak. There is no dialogue in our election process - only diatribe. The purpose of a debate is not to share ideas with your opponent - it is to see who can shout the loudest, find the most loopholes - the most embarrassing soundbites and claim victory.
But think about it - what if the candidates actually LISTENED to one another? What if they demonstrated true strength of character and the ability to grow and change? What would that say about how we view our leaders? Do we really want them to be delusional hard-hearted partisans who make their decisions based exclusively on their beliefs and political platform? Or do we want them to be able to grow; to carefully consider all sides of an issue: to question themselves and their advisors before acting? What is so bad about learning? About growing? About arguing, for that matter?
Jews love to argue. The Maxim: "If you have two Jews, you'll have three opinions.." is not altogether wrong. Rabbinic literature is based on reasoned and intelligent debate. An argument "L'Shem Shamayim" - for the sake of heaven is the paradigm of learning. But unlike the current political climate, Jewish debate is designed to help both parties grow and learn from one another - not to prove each other wrong. We need healthy debate in order to truly understand what it means to be alive.
The need for healthy and open debate - free of partisan bickering - has never been more evident than in the past few days. As we approach one of the greatest financial crises we have seen in decades, the ability of our elected leaders to listen to one another - and the people they serve - has never been more important.
If you want to see how engaging the process of Jewish debate can be, I invite you to come to Torah study on any Shabbat morning here at Congregation Albert. There you will see between 30-40 active members of our congregation - life-long learners - engaged in arguing and discovering the hidden truths of Torah.
Just as there is a Jewish way to study- I truly believe that there is a Jewish way to vote, as well.
During this election season, I'm sure that many of you have received an abundance of official and unofficial campaign materials designed to elicit a response from Jewish voters. These ads, e-mails and flyers state how their candidate understands the fears and the uncertainty of the American Jewish community. They show how their candidate is the strongest supporter of the state of Israel - how they won't back down in the face of pressure from the Arab world. Unfortunately, these materials all too often also state how the candidate's opponents are dangerous for Jews. In this year's presidential campaign, in particular, we have seen too many insidious character assassinations of candidates based on guilt by association, fear mongering and, unfortunately racial stereotyping.
Several months ago, I received a phone call from a candidate who was running for office in New Mexico. He wanted to know the best way to speak to the Jewish community. What were the messages that we, as Jewish Americans, wanted to hear from the candidates? I shared with him that, of course, the Jewish community was concerned about support for Israel but I also let him know that Jews are not a one-issue people. We don't like to be pandered to. Just as we are concerned about support for the State of Israel, we also care deeply about economic policy, social justice and human rights. So how should Jews vote? We need to listen to what the candidates are saying - not just about Israel - but about a whole range of issues. Vote your conscience. Vote your passions - not merely your pocketbook or the political playbook that you think you are required to follow.
That's the Jewish way to vote.
But it is not just in the political arena that we need to be careful to listen. In our own homes - in our daily lives, we are often so busy that we forget to listen to the people who are closest to us.
These High Holy Days are filled with imagery about hearing and listening.
This morning, we heard three remarkable ba-ah-ley tekiah - shofar blowers. Before the Shofar was sounded, we recited the blessing:
Barukh Atah Adonai, Eloheynu Melech Ha-Olam, Ashser Kidshanu B'Mitzvotav, v'tzeevanu Li-shmo-ah kol Shofar.
You are blessed, Adonai our God, who makes us holy with Mitzvot and commands us to LISTEN to the voice of the Shofar.
Lishmoa Kol Shofar
Listen to the voice of the shofar.
The Hebrew word, Lishmoa means "to listen." It's the same root as Shema - as in Shema Yisrael - Listen O'Israel.
We are not commanded to blow the shofar, or to watch the shofar being blown. We must listen to it. The Talmud is very clear about how we can and cannot fulfill this mitzvah. We must be in the same room as the shofar. We must be focused, prepared, ready to absorb the sounds. We can't hear an echo - or a recording (even though there weren't recording devices in Talmudic times - but they knew that someday there would be.....)(2)
But it's not enough to merely "Hear" it - we must "Listen" to it as well.
The shofar is a call to action, yes; but it also is a call to reflection. It jars us out of our complacency and tells us to look at the world and ourselves as we really are - not how we want things to be.
A story is told of a husband who read about a study that said women use more words than men. Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women, in general, and his wife in particular, talked too much, he showed her the study results, which stated: `Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000.' His wife thought awhile, then finally she said to her husband, `That's because we have to repeat everything we say.'
The husband said, `What?
How many times do we fail to listen?
You see, there's a difference between `hearing' and `listening'. Hearing is merely allowing sounds to penetrate our eardrums. Listening is an active process. It involves taking the sounds we hear and considering their meaning.
Like Abraham, we need to learn to listen: to the messages around us - and especially to one another. We can't afford to ignore or misinterpret the essential meanings of the messages that are being sent to us.
On Mt. Moriah, Abraham thought that he heard God telling him to sacrifice his son. How could this possibly happen? Perhaps because he was so caught up in what he thought his son needed - what he understood his own legacy to be - that he never took the time to listen to what Isaac, or God were actually saying to him.
So too, in our own lives: I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the same stories:
In the world in which we live, where we have so much access to so much information - maybe we have too much on our minds - maybe we can't sift through the noise to appreciate the most important messages we receive. Whatever the cause, we are losing our ability to listen - to really listen to the people in our lives who make life worth living.
There is a prayer written by Rabbi Jack Reimer of which I am particularly fond. He writes:
Judaism begins with the commandment:
Hear O Israel!
But what does it really mean to hear?The person who attends a concert
With his mind on business
Hears - but does not really listen.The person who walks amid the songs of birds
And thinks only of what he will have for dinner
Hears - but does not really listen.The man who hears to the words of his friend,
Or his wife, or his child
And does not catch the note of urgency
Notice me, help me, care about me,
Hears - but does not really listen.The man who watches the news
And thinks only of how it will affect business
Hears - but does not really listen.The person who hears the Hazzan pray
And does not feel the call to join with her
Hears - but does not really listen.The person who hears the rabbi's sermon
And thinks that someone else is being addressed,
Hears - but does not really listen.(3)
My friends, Rosh Hashanah provides us with an opportunity to focus our attention onto those areas of our lives that are most important. What you do with that focus is up to you. When you leave this sanctuary today, I hope that you will be able to do so with a resolve to listen to the messages around you - to the people who mean the most - to the vitally important decisions you will have to make: at work, at the polls, at home: all the time.
May God grant us the ability to listen, to learn, to grow - and in the process of doing so - make this world a better place.
AMEN - L'shanah Tovah.
(Endnotes)
1 CF Midrash Tanchuma, Gen Rabbah 56:8 and Rashi on Gen 22:12
2 C.F. Mishnah Moed, Rosh Ha-Shanah 3:7
3 Adapted from Rabbi Jack Riemer: "Listen," an introduction to the Sh'ma, in Likrat Shabbat [Bridgeport, CT: The Prayer Book Press, Media Judaica, 1981], p. 74. Note: Rabbi Reimer's original text closes each line with the words: "Hears - but does not really hear." (Emphasis mine).