Four Weeks of Elul 5767
Week Two: Personal and Professional Relationships

August 21, 2007

This time of Cheshbon Ha-nefesh during the month of Elul gives us an opportunity to examine the central relationships in our lives. Almost everything we do involves other people. We have different kinds of relationships: personal, professional, romantic and platonic. And yet, all of our dealings with others have the potential for holiness. The Torah teaches that every person is created in the image of God. How we treat others must reflect this awareness.

The Mishnah teaches that on Yom Kippur the sins we have committed against God will be forgiven if we are truly repentant. The sins we commit against others, however, cannot be forgiven unless and until we have asked those whom we have wronged to forgive us. In many ways, this is one of the most difficult aspects of Cheshbon Ha-nefesh. It means that we have to take risks by reaching out to others. We may encounter resistance, anger, or resentment. Sometimes it is impossible to reach out to others - and yet, it is our duty to do all that we can to assess whether or not reconciliation is possible. If there is a slightest hope - then we need to try - even if we fail.

The following questions are designed to make us think about the current status of the many different relationships in our lives. Again, this is by no means a complete list. Hopefully it will provide you with a starting point for improving the relationships in your lives.

1. Are there any relationships in my life that are damaged? Have I done all that I could to repair them?
2. Are there people I have wronged that I need to ask to forgive me?
3. Will I be able to forgive those who come to me to ask for my forgiveness?
4. Have I taken part in any business or personal transactions this past year that were against my religious, moral or ethical principles?
5. Have I taken time recently to let the most important people in my life know how much I care about them?
6. Are there people who feel that I have wronged them - even if I don’t think that I have? Have I reached out to them to try and come to an understanding?
7. Have I shut out the pain of others in other parts of the world? In my country? My City? My congregation? My neighborhood? My family?

Again, I want to hear from you regarding these messages. I welcome your comments and suggestions. I can be reached by phone (883-1818) or e-mail (). In addition to the e-mails I will send out, these questions will also be available in hard copy at the Temple Office. If you know of anyone else who might want to receive these lists, contact our list administrator, .

L'shanah Tovah U'metukah - May you have a good and sweet new year,