April 23, 2005 Shabbat Morning Sermon by Elizabeth Finn

The first time I read this particular parasha, Achare Mot, was eleven years ago as I sat in my father’s office, who was the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator at our old synagogue, and choose the lines I would read for my Bat Mitzvah, which was ten years ago. So when I sat down to review this parasha in order to write this sermon I figured things would be easier the second time around.

This week’s parasha focuses on Yom Kippur. The idea of Yom Kippur is eluded to many times but rarely mentioned. This parasha triggered memories I had forgotten I had about Yom Kippur. As a young child I can remember many a Yom Kippur sitting in my father’s lap, with his tallit wrapped around me. As I grew to big to sit in my father’s lap, I sat next to him and played with the tzittzit on his tallit to entertain myself as my mother and the choir sang the many familiar Yom Kippur melodies. My teenage years were spent on the Bima as I sang in the choir and participated in leading different parts of the service.

This past year I experienced yet another change in the way I participate in Yom Kippur services. This year, as the new Youth Director at Congregation Emanuel in Denver, Colorado, I had my first taste of running a service for Kindergarten through fifth graders. All of these memories and experiences become part of my Jewish identity as I continue to learn and develop myself Jewishly.

It is my pleasure to be here this Shabbat morning with the opportunity to share with you two of the most important things in my life; children and Judaism. This story shows my participation in Judaism in at least three ways only in the context of services as an outlet. Our Jewish education doesn’t always take place in the sanctuary or in the Religious School classroom. In fact I know few children past the age of ten, who jump out of bed early on Sunday morning to get ready for Religious school.

I grew up in a home where Judaism was the most important part of our family identity, and it was made well know to both myself and my brother. Religious school was just as important as secular school, and our Jewish learning was carried on past class and into our home every week. However, my experience is the exception. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Religious school can be supplemented both by parents and youth workers who are all working together toward the same goal; the creation of a cohesive program that incorporates both formal and informal education. We live in a world where families come in all shapes and sizes. We have homes with parents who both work, homes with one parent staying home, homes with only one parent, homes with Jewish and non-Jewish family members, and I could go on for days with the multiple variations of today’s American family.

It is so important for us, as a Jewish community, to emphasize our commitment to our children. A child is raised by a village and by parents, we know this to be true. Youth Director positions are popping up all over the country as communities begin to realize the importance of supplementing our children’s formal religious education with informal Jewish experiences. But this move within Reform Judaism to create informal Jewish experiences with the help of a Youth Director is not happening fast enough. Jewish summer camps have a profound affect on our children, but why must their “fun” Jewish experiences be limited to 3 months a year? Should we not teach our children that they can have fun being Jewish everyday of their lives?

As a Youth Director I can assure you there is plenty to be done to enhance the Jewish experience of our children on a daily basis. I walk into my office every day with new ideas that I want to turn into programs. Beside my bed I keep a journal, as I often wake up during the night having dreamed of a program that would help our children better connect with Judaism.

But what is my experience with Jewish kids? What makes me an expert in my field, what allows me to stand before you today and express to you what the Reform movement must do to ensure the spiritual wholeness of our children? I have many credentials, first of which is the fact that I was once a Jewish child. This may seem trivial, but it helps to remember what life was like as a Jewish child, pre-teen, teen, and college student. This experience qualifies me to help our kids because when they say to me “you don’t remember when…” I can respond with “yes I do”! Among my other credentials, I worked in the Religious school of my previous congregation from the time of my Bat Mitzvah until I graduated from High School, nearly five years. In college I spent my time studying Jewish History, philosophy, ethics, trends, current issues and much more. In college I did not attend Hillel, and I rarely went to services, but I studied Judaism every day for four years. I found an outlet for my Judaism through study rather than religious practice. Upon graduation I was offered a job by Congregation Emanuel in Denver, Colorado as their Youth Director where I work today.

In the year that I have spent at Emanuel, I have learned that the best way to reach children is to let them know that I am working for them. Children of all ages only want to know that they are SEEN AND HEARD by the adults in their lives. I am qualified to talk to you about the importance of youth work, because I am an active member in the young Jewish community, and because I work with our youth on a daily basis.

Our children are our most precious possession, our most valuable asset, and our greatest teachers. Never underestimate the intelligence of a child, nor the charisma and brilliance of a teen. As adults we often forget that things are much easier than we tend to make them. Our children know that the world is tough, they understand that adults work hard and expend energy on important things. But our teens need to know that we are working to make their lives better, no matter how difficult it may be to help them see that. In my position as Youth Director I often have parents call me and ask me to speak with their children about school issues, and about responsibility. They are not sloughing off, or slacking in their responsibilities to their children, these parents are recognizing that their children need to be guided to the understanding of their situation by someone other than a parent. If I am able to help, I sit down with the teen and ask them to tell me what their take on the situation is. 99% of the time they will tell me that their parents just don’t listen to them, that they don’t care, and that their parents are too old to remember what it was like when they were younger.

But why are they comfortable telling me these things, and not their parents? Because they know exactly where I stand before they even have this conversation with me. Every year I give the same speech to my youth group kids, and my religious school classes. I tell them what I expect, that they are mature young adults and I expect them to act in an appropriate fashion. I also let them know the consequences for their failings, should their failings be intentional. I draw lines, define them, and then stick to those lines. This helps my teens to understand my position, my role, in their lives. They know I’m not against them, but that I’m not always going to be on “their side”. As a Youth Director I have a unique opportunity to help teens better understand the world around them. By helping them in their relationship with their parents I have given them a positive memory of the Jewish community.

It is opportunities like these that make Youth Directors so important. We are able to create a safe environment for our teens, and to help parents in what can be an impossible situation with their children. We are able to create programs that inspire young Jews to take a proactive role in their Judaism. In February I was privileged to attend the Reform Movements Youth Workers Conference, which was held in conjunction with NFTY‘s (North American Federation of Temple Youth) National Convention. There were more than 1500 high school aged students in attendance and around 150 Youth workers in attendance. It was an amazing experience, as all the Youth Workers got together and shared information. But nothing the whole weekend was so amazing as the words spoken to me on the plane ride back from Los Angeles to Denver by one of my 10 grade youth groupers. Megan sat next to me on the flight home, and about ten minutes into the flight she fell asleep on my shoulder. The weekend was 5 days long, and it was jam packed with information and experiences, she was rightly exhausted.

When we landed I awoke Megan and as she was waking up she turned to me and said “Lizz, thank you for this whole weekend.” I reminded her that I hadn’t seen her most of the weekend, as NFTY hires college Juniors and Seniors to supervise the NFTY participants. Meagan responded by saying;

“I know Lizz, but if I had needed you, I know you would have dropped everything and come take care of me. And just so you know you can’t ever quit, you have to stay in Denver forever!”

At first I was too tired to realize what Megan had just said to me. It wasn’t until two days and nearly 32 hours of sleep later that I realized Megan had just told me that I was making a difference in her life. The type of people who choose to work as Youth Directors are entirely committed to making Judaism a prominent part of every Jewish child’s life. Much like teachers, Youth Directors aren’t in this business for money, but for the opportunity to ensure the future of the Jewish people. But money is always an issue, and we all know you get what you pay for.

I was lucky to be given a position right out of college as a Youth Director. But what really made things easy for me was the fact that the program wasn’t brand new, there had been a Youth Director there before me. The task ahead for any Congregation hiring a Youth Director for the first time is tedious and difficult, but one that is well worth the effort. When it comes to our children we want them to have better opportunities, more chances, and more successes than we have had. I applaud you for making a commitment to reach out to your children and build your youth program. I encourage you to seriously consider the transforming power that a professional Youth Director can bring to your youth.

Every year, on Yom Kippur, we are given an opportunity to evaluate the year we have lived, and the goals we have for the year to come. We evaluate ourselves and determine what will make us better as individuals. It is an important day, and an important time to choose our path. When we wander too far from the path we are meant to walk, something within our soul stirs. It is the G-dliness within each of us that reminds us to return to the path of righteousness and mercy, of faith and compassion. Yom Kippur reminds us to return to the truest form of ourselves. We owe our children the chance to learn that Judaism has many outlets, and that all they need do is plug in.

Shabbat Shalom!