From the Cantor - September 2000

During the year after the death of a loved one, the most difficult times can be "firsts." The first snowfall, first birthday, first holiday, hit without warning and pass with difficulty. This month I must face my first Yamim Nora'im, my first High Holy Days, without my father, Harry Marx.

My earliest Yamim Nora'im memories entail long car trips; we lived forty miles from Temple Beth El (which did not curtail my parents' determination to get us to Shabbat services on a regular basis). Although I had to sit still during services, I could reach for my father's hand any time I wanted. Throughout his life, that hand could completely swallow mine in its clasp. Before I knew the prayers, I would listen to his gruff bass-baritone reading or singing in Hebrew and in English. Dad taught me the very first prayer I learned - the bedtime Sh'ma.

Every Yom Kippur afternoon, Dad sat on the bimah. I thought he wore dark glasses because the sun shone so brightly through the stained-glass windows. Next to me, my mother would whisper, "He's asleep!" and stare at him hard. Without moving another muscle, Dad's face broke into his famous grin as he wordlessly said, "You caught me!"

Once I left home I wasn't always with my parents for Yamim Nora'im. Nevertheless, Rosh Hashanah wears the face of my father in my mind's heart. No matter where I was, I couldn't sit down to Yontiff dinner until he wished me "L'shona tova, Puppilein" - Happy New Year, little doll. Two years ago was the best - my parents came to Congregation Albert for Rosh Hashanah. Now I was on the bimah and Dad sat in the congregation. This time he lit up the whole sanctuary with that grin .

At Yizkor we recall loved ones who have died, because we learn that God gave the Torah at Mt. Sinai to every Jew that ever would exist. When we say Kaddish for our dead, we invite them into our presence. This year, my father will be my guest of honor.

L'shanah tovah u-metukah,
Cantor Jacqueline Shuchat-Marx

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