From the Rabbi - November 1999

Dear Friends,

Our son, Ethan, turned five in September. I don't know how many of you remember what it is like to be five, or have recent experiences with five year olds, but it is a time of both great change and great frustration. According to the experts in child psychology, the developmental tasks of five year olds are exactly the same as two and a half-year olds (also most 15-17 year olds as well….something to think about). Their attitudes and behaviors are strongly influenced by the conflicting drives of an intense need for personal autonomy and a fear of separation from all that is comfortable. To put it more simply: there's a lot of temper tantrums. Anyway, last month, Ethan was very angry with Sue and me. He told us how angry he was: "I am SO ANGRY!" he said. "I'm going to do something bad! I'm going to break all of my toys! I'm going to run away! I'm gonna….I'm ….." (he paused to think of the worst thing he could do, then announced in a very dramatic fashion...) "I'M ….GONNA…… BREAK…. THE….. TEN…. COMMANDMENTS!"

Sue and I looked at each other. We knew that we had to take him seriously and validate his anger, and yet, it took all of our self control not to laugh. It was one of those "parental moments" that let us know that, somewhere along the way, we were doing something right.

Moments like those don't come along every day, so we need to savor them. Thanksgiving is a time when we appreciate the bounty and blessings we have been granted over the past year. This year, I will be with my family in Chicago over the Thanksgiving holiday, so I will not be able to share in the interfaith service that will take place at Monte Vista Christian Church on Thanksgiving Day. I hope that many of you will be there, however, to savor the fellowship and joy that is the hallmark of this annual tradition. Our Cantor and Choirs will be helping to lead the service and, as always, it will provide us with an opportunity to put the meaning of this uniquely American festival in the proper perspective.

Thanksgiving is not about food or football. It is about giving thanks for this wonderful country in which we live. Let us also remember that not everyone in America can give thanks. There are too many men, women and children for whom the idea of sharing a moment of joy with a loved one, is almost unknown. Too many Americans live in fear, poverty and squalor. As we rejoice in our festival, let us also pledge to work for the day when all people can rejoice in the simple pleasures of daily life and love.

L'Shalom,
Rabbi Joseph R. Black

P.S. On another note. I am eagerly looking forward to welcoming my dear friend and colleague, Rabbi Steven Leder of Wilshire Blvd Temple in Los Angeles, CA as the guest author and speaker for our annual Book Fair on Sunday, November 14th. Rabbi Leder will be reviewing his book at 11:00a.m. Rabbi Leder's new book, The Extraordinary Nature of Ordinary Things, has recently been published by Behrman House. He is a brilliant writer, speaker and teacher. You won't want to miss his presentation.

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